_my_up_date_3_

hye guys...ellow world...just letting u guys know that i'm in the progress of stop smoking..even though i smoke one cigarette  today..it still a progress..so letting u guys know i smoke 4 or more cigarette per day..so u guys can see it have small effect on me to stop smoking..by this u guys may know that i have chosen to be happy in my life...i should enjoy more of the good stuff..my gold is not buy cigarette..and slowly stop but making it permanent ..so wish me luck...cia yo!!!... 

_need_help_

help me..someone just open my eyes just now..he tell me that i should stop smoking... i don't know how but it run on my mind so deeply..maybe because he tell me that u stop smoking to..there is only one thing in my mind that time..ur gf must be the best gf u have..she can really2 change u for the better...that make me really2 sad..i hope i was that girl..i really2 can't say the best of luck for u both because is still love u so much..i really need to get over u..seriously...as i was saying in the last post..i really2 hope to see u in the other side..so i should be good to every one so the i can be in the same places as u are in the other side.. and one other thing why did u stop??...are u so happy with her until u don't want to leave this world without her..as u know..i was cry writing this..it broke my heart..it's i don't want u to stop smoking but i just want to be the one that u stop for...it been more then 7 or 8 month since i saw u..it kills me every nite to think that u a so happy right now..and i was leave with the broken pieces..for your information this is the 3 day i cry for u since the last time i saw u...ok that's that..i ask my bf some stupid question.."if i die early then u,what will u do?"..he answer "i will be sad and after a few year then i get marry again"..that was so fun..i love my bf..but ... actually i was suppose to say to him is "i want to die early so that i can see him"..i know that was so cruel to him...but that the truer..enough of this..the big help sign is for..to all that accidentally click this page and read this..should i stop smoking and be happy in my earth life out and in side???

_i'll_see_u_again_

let me explain what is the meaning of this title...
i still trying to understand why did u leave me..but in my mind..it's better for u to leave me..because i can't do anything for u..even if i wish i can...i always say that i can give u every thing..but when i think about it...i really2 can't..i can't even see u wake up in the morning and make u breakfast..i can't even whole ur hand and say that i will never let this hand go..i can't even accompanied u taking the bus..even watch a movie with u..or even having a simple dinner with u..i will always crying when i though about this..scar never heal...just letting u know that i always love u..with my whole heart..even though u leave me not because of this but still..if u didn't leave me..then the time come i will leave u...so i don't want that..it's better now then later..and it better u then me.. but can u promise me something ...plz always remember that i love u and ..be mine when we meet again in the other side... by then i will never let u go...ps i love u...(i hope u read this)

_lovely_morning_

i wake up early today..because i didn't sleep last nite..i was so busy watch you tube..i have so much fun watching you tube all nite..i don't know how it's work..but it work for me just by seeing people talk..i particularly love to see jlovemc channel...she talk alot and i can see that she is not faking or sacred to show her true self..btw that not what i wanted to talk about...i'm very2 happy today because of the sun today..the morning sun was so beautiful today..it was very rewarding to see the sun put it's color on to the sky..it's like autumn.i love it..call me what ever u want but i'm just me..so enjoy life u guys..don't make ur self down just because a stupid boy that don't know what he had..so be happy..go out there..and laugh as loud as u can..laugh at the mistake that u done expectly to the thing that make u cry..i'm not saying that i already move on but it's help just to smile and laugh...people that can laugh at what did tens to be a happy gold luck person..so laugh...k..

_inspireding_

i was inspired by a Taiwan TV series that so popular..this TV series work by grouped a group of girls that change from a ugly person...i didn't mean the type that is OK to look at... i was saying the type that u guys can categorize as to ugly for the eye to see...then they become to beautiful...they even can become a model of magazine..now for me ..then are no more reason for the girls out there to say that they are ugly...just by putting makeup..u girls are as beautiful as u girls can be..this show can inspired people like me... and increase the level of self esteem...
don't get me wrong.. I'm not against natural beauty but it OK for some of the girls wear makeup to hide they imperfection.. in other word.. it OK to be beautiful and confident.. so get up and feel the fresh air..so here is some of the picture of the girls before putting makeup on and after..

_you're_just_another_picture_to_burn_

State the obvious
I didn't get my perfect fantasy
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine; I'll tell mine your gay, and by the way....

I hate that stupid old "GEN 2" you never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn.

There's no time for tears
I'm just sitting here planning my revenge
There's nothing stopping me
From goin' out with all of your best friends.
And if you come around
Saying sorry to me
My daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be

'Cause I hate that stupid old "GEN 2" you never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn.

And if you're missing me
You better keep it to yourself
Cuz coming back around here
Would be bad for your health

'Cause I hate that stupid old "GEN 2" you never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
In case you haven't heard

I really really hate that stupid old "GEN 2" you never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn

Burn, burn, burn, baby, burn
you're just another picture to burn
Baby, burn.....

_my_up_date_2_

so hye...this is just to up date what i been through this couple of month... i been a good girl lately maybe some time my mind did think of doing funny stuff but...i try to stop it...some time it stop by it self... well that the good news... the second new is more of the sad part... my best friend/skandel is now official becoming my ex best friend / ex skandel.. i made my mind to let him go..but still i'll be back for my revenge ..so i just want him to know..i'm to happy ...not for u but for me...the song on top is for u..

_randomness_

out with parent...i would say out with family but..hmm..but it's only me and my daddy n mummy..my brother is in Papar... me and my parent like to discuss allot of thing.. mostly about the current news and allot of medical stuff... by this u guy may get it already both of my parent is in the medical field... BTW... thing that we discuss today was shocking to me... my parent says that half of the sabahan people that living in KL is homeless... i was shock by that... i can't image living in the street with no home and proper bath room... it kill my thought... y... i can't understand... y poverty is high... it not like i'm a rich girl but..i have a proper home and enough to eat and sleep... i was so sad to hear about this.. and it effect me allot... i really hope that sabahan people can one day stand on they feet and be proud of what they have go though to get where they a now... so GBU to all the people that a far2 a way from they home town..

_letter_to god_3_

dear god,

let me go to hell..plz...i don't what to hurt u again..plz.let me die...

from u daughter..

_in_my_mind_

damm..my head is going to explode...i can think strange..it like devil and angel a battling in  my head...i can choose.. wader to let the angel win or just let it loose... u guy must think i'm crazy or to much time to think about this...in fact i got no time...i have to think a lot of think thing and do a lot of thing...i feel like unclean to send prayer... i can't say much..do u guy ever feel this way..how u guy go through this...do u guy think i should quit praying..
FYI i just want to up date u guy about my life..i'm still finding for thing to study...and i will be finding for work..i have to help my parent... my brother is a mess... that all it think..so to be continue..

_my_so_call_elder_brother_

I know u may not be able to read this... But still I want to write it before I forget about u... do u remember the first time me chat??I also can’t remember...It’s been 2 years already... the only thing I remember is I add u first in FACEBOOK... And u accepted it...I was so happy that time... and we started chatting... Send message to each other... YA... I add u because I’m attracted to u... and I know that u where at that time studying in Sabah... u always give me advise and cheering me up when I’m down... like a elder brother... I remember that we only send message to each one in the blue moon... but still I feel the connection between us... then days become month and month become year... And we swap our number... It is easier for us to contact each other that way... I remember that I’m the type of girls that never contact or send message to a guy first... I can’t remember who start send message... then we lost contact for 6 month... I think... I’m not that sure... by the way... when I was back in Sabah... we started sending message again... then after that u ask me out... I remember u say that u are bored that time... and I really2 wanted to go out with u... but I can’t... I so scared to ask my parent for permission... so the first time u asks me out I say “ I can’t... maybe next time and let it be me to ask u out... how about Sunday or Saturday? Are u free that time??” and u say sure... then Saturday come and I call u then we go out... at that time my mind was not there... I was so scared and keep on think about my parent... so I can see that u are bored going out with me... I’m so sorry for that... the first time we go out... u brings me with your car... it was MYVI and it was black in colour... I was so shock... and we wanted to Mega Long... at that time I was so shy...infect very2 shy... I can’t even see your face... HaHaHa... that was so stupid of me... then we want to see movie “the real still” and the movie was great... I remember that the time we were waiting for the lift and u we looking at me... and OMG!!! I can’t cover it already then I say “don’t look at me that way... I’m a very2 shy person” so u just looks at different was and u say “u look so young...What is your age again?” I reply “20” ... then after that movie end we go and eat at the Kampung nelayan near my house... the we chat... it was so fun talk to u... I can feel that my shyness level was down a little... then u send me home... after a while... I my head was so full of question... I didn’t u send me a message... with a brave heart I send u a message in facebook... demanding for answer then u reply “I don’t to bother” it was not a good reason and I know that u are not interested at me... so that’s find... then the second time we go out we when to centre point and we play token... I was funny to see u play... i remember u say that u feel like a childish when I whole your hand... then reason why i whole your hand is because u always walk faster than me... and people we bumping me... i hate it... then i let go of your hand... then the time we go out again the 3 time... that time i feel something in my heart maybe i start to like u... but my head say don’t...then again the 4 time we go out... I follow u to a car was and we want to get your clothe which is your cousin house.. at that time i was so shy in front of your cousin but because your cousin is so friendly and easy to talk to... it become lest weird and me and your cousin chit chat..It was so fun... i like your cousin so much... then we when to meet with your friend... it was so boring... i just sit there... but still i have fun... then the day end... you send me back home... i was so sad that time... we didn’t talk the whole journey... it feel like it the end of us... i really hope we can go out again... just make sure that i never feel like that again... 

_the_type_of_guys_

u may wander y did i post this..my point it to fasten the rate of dating guys.. I'm the type of girl that know what i want..but i may  compromise or change my mind of the type of guys i would like to date..this list is the true list from my mind plus my heart..there are no covering here..so let start..

if u do think of dating me..u must..

1. lower ur ego..(i will choose my man over my own ego)
2. willing to manja me..(i'm very2 manja person)
3. be honest to me..(even if u are seeing other girls..I'll be understanding)
4. don't be selfish..(i will choose my man over my self)
5. care for me..(i'm a very2 caring person)
6. try ur best to be there when i needed u..(i will do the same)
7. willing to give me advise..(some time i will ask my man for advise)
8. don't every2 be stingy..(I'm not a stingy person)
9. don't try to change me..(i believe that if u do..u will only change ur self)
10. can stand my childishness..(i'm a childish person)
11. willing to sacrifice for me..(i will do the same)
12. willing to hear me..(i'm very2 god listener)
13. prefer working guys..or studying..(just bee sure when i finish my study my man also the same)
14. tall then me..(which is 150cm above)
15. older the me..(range my age to 8 year older then me)
16. wise person..(just don't give a stupid advise)
17. good looking..(not that much just nice to look at)
18. clean person..(clean from drugs n never every when to jail)
19. same religion..(it is more easy to see the future)
20. willing to talk over any thing..(i hate fighting will my man)

this will be change in time..the more important of all is just be ur self..then love me day by day..:)

_jaga_dirimu_

i don't know what i'm feeling right now..it's not love..then what is it???
y y y....y do u have to go..can u feel what i'm feeling right now???..
but it hurt me...i want to say that 3 word..
but i don't think u want to hear that..and i can't say it...bcz of my status right now..
i want to throw all that a way for u..but i'm not sure u can handle my heart..
it hard for me to let u go..but if u just promise me this...jaga dirimu..then i will let u..

_you_my_boyfriend_

Yo..what up??

Or hey darling...

U a so cute..muahx.... 

Really?i'm not lying... 

My2 y should i lie  

You are the one i... 

Been waiting 4 u 4 so long 

Omg!!! 

Y did i say that...embarrassing  

Faith bring us together

Rated high in my life
I love u so much 

Every day is ours 

Never forget about that
Darling you are mine!!!

_i_can't_breathe_

i see your face in my mind as i leave a day..

cause non of us thought it will end this way..

people lie people and sometime they change they mind..

i hope we will never do this..

but i kill me to see you go..

music start playing like the end of a sad movie..

it's the kind of ending that u don't want to see..

cause it a tragedy when u gone..and it only bring me down..

now i don't know what to be without u around..

and we know it's never simple,never easy

there are never clean goodbye..and there no one here to save me..

u are the only one i know like the back of my mind..

and i can't breathe

without u

but i have to..

never wanted this,i never wanted to hurt..

when u gone,i try to swerve every little bump..

nothing i can say to stop u from going..

and i can't breathe

without u

but i have to..

it 2am, it feel like i have lost my best friend..

i hope u know it not easy for me..

and i can't breathe

without u..

_letter_to god_2_

Dear God,

word can describe how I'm great full about the pouring of blessing you give to me..most of the time, i just wanted to shout "thank you o lord!!!" . my faith is so high right now..now i know that you do listen to all my pray...you make my dream come a life again..even though i thought it will not be possible....i don't how to say the very2 much thank you o lord..but i do pray for something..i pray that plz guide me..so i will not loss in the crowd blessing again..
i start to understand that when ever my father scolded me..is the way for you saying "don't get loss"...thank again for that... and i do pray that all my family will see the way i see you..i will try to tell them..and hoping that they will feel the way you make me feel..bless them o lord..make them happy and do help them to carry they burdens o lord..show your road..:) thank again...

for your truly
a girl that's feel your blessing

_if_u_are_wandering_

if u are wandering that how long will is this relationship..
my answer is..i would like it be forever..
if u are wandering ..what if someone don't like..
my answer is..i will tell them to F@#$ off...
if u are wandering..if they are still talking..
my answer is..i will shut she/he out..
if u are wandering..what if it the whole world..
my answer is..then i will stop them all..
if u are wandering..how will u do that?u are just a human...
my answer is..I'm rather be a monster,so that i can be with u
if u are wandering..so they are monster,then if u are a monster 2,then what will they call u..
my answer is..a traitor,I'm find with that..
if u are wandering..so what will u do..
my answer is..I'm just connecting they victim,to make u realize that they a worry..

so i hope u get my point...i love u so much..even though I'm just a human..i will try my very best to stop the whole world from braking us apart..even though i have to turn in a monster to do that..so u do not need to wander any more...

_thnx_god_i'm_happy_

i though i wanted to update u guy about my life...
i can't describe it..
it feel like ..i'm to happy...
i don't know y..but i can feel the energy in me..
even though my dream crush in front of me..
but still i can feel that my heart say..it ok...
i think this is god work..n i'm confident about it..
even though I'm still hiding from my cousins..
but still it ok..
i just wanted u guy to remember that..
god love us..no matter what we have done to our self..
this is from a girl that have do the crazy's thing in the word..
so be confident that god will help us through every thing in this word...
thnx god...i really2 great full ...

_Love_for_u_

Lose in time..
Over and over again..
Very2 sad..
Every time you not there..
Lonely is like my second friend..
O you know that right?..
Voice calling out your name..
Every way i go..
Listening to it ..
Obsessively humming along..
Violin man next door..
Even join by play his violin..
Leaving me no reason not to enjoy it..
Opposite barber shop..join in with they
Vocal that sound like back ground singer..
Enchanting is the word for it..

i hope u Knowles that the in front of ever single verse is L-O-V-E...i love u karl...

_letter_to god_

dear god,

i read some of short story about your teaching last night, the story is about why we as your follower go through pain, we know that you have a plan for us and you will not conflicted us with misery but still why do i have this pain...as i read more of the story, the teaching is about through pain and misery you get closer to us..i was cry when i finish that story and i can say that my faith become more strong for you o lord..but still after that i go through more and more misery..my mind say that maybe because my faith is not that strong enough or maybe I'm to far way from you o lord..how far way I'm to you o lord??..i  guess you know what as been happening to me..my dream is crush and future is blur..I'm a faller to other eyes..i feel it to..is that true o lord??mi a faller??..if I'm can i stand back to my feet??..i know you will not give a test if you know that I'm going to fall..i have faith on that o lord..but i don't know why my heart become weaker and weaker.. i was afferent that one day my heart can't stand and i real2 going to fall..plz o lord...no more test..i begging you plz..i'm afferent...

from your truly
going to be crazy girl

_the_tree_

u guy may think that the tree grow taller and stronger by it's own
and the soil is naturally full of nutrient by it self
and the leaf is born to be green..
that's is a lie...
if u guy did study science in high school..
u guy may know that tree grow taller and stronger because of the soil
and the soil is full of nutrient because of the compose leaf
and the leaf is green because of the photo receptor that only accept green light..
if I'm not mistaken the first and second facts is for high school
but the three facts is for studying foundation of science..
so back to my metaphor
some stupid part of the  people may think that tree grow on it own..
so what do u think..???...

_the _devil_daughter_

if devil can rewind time...why we do not take it..
don't take this in the wrong way.. i believe in god with my hold heart..
and i do know that devil is real..
when i was small..i all way think that i already sold my soul to the devil
maybe it just me..but i can feel it..
i tell my friend..that I'm the devil daughter..they just laugh and telling me I'm so funny..
maybe i make a funny face that time but i can't remember..
hmm..maybe this is why I'm so scar of ghost or what so ever they call it..
but it can't be..because if I'm the devil daughter i shouldn't be scar of them..
i know that I'm going to hell ..
and i know that hell will be more helly then i thought it will be..
i deserve the hell but some part or wishing I'm end u i  heaven...
try to do good stuff with not working..i feel i'm to dirty to god...
i miss going to church so much..leasing to the prayer..
and putting some hope for the poor and sick..because they deserve it...
i know that god have endless love..and he will never leave us even though we ask him to...
just remember this..don't loses hope..and pray a lot..

_dought_is_wanderfull_

i didn't have enough rest last night..
maybe because i have to send a doctor home..
or maybe it's just me..
enough with the reason why i can't sleep last night..
let focus on how i feel today..making me write early in the morning..
I'm nervous today,it not that usual...usual when I'm nervous i talk to human..officious
BTW...to throw the nervousness way...i watch my favorite show..."HOUSE"
Demm..make me feel that it is cool to be a doctor like him...
so i become more nervous...dought come to me again...
i guess he have a plan for me..
he keep on tell me to not give up on my self..
but it's no use...seriously...what happen to me...
the morning sky look turn orange blue-wish today..i wander why..
and why is the stupid dragon fly..fly near the water surface..
they know that..if that do that..the fish will eat them..
but why do they still doing it..
can some body give me a good reason???
why is human keep on doing stupid stuff??
even though they know that it's stupid mainly..
why do u..as a reader read this???and still have no dought about your self
there are a lot of why but no answer..
the air today test sweet..can u feel that??...
it's feel my brain with that sweet stuff..making me feel high..
high in the way that..wanted to give thank to god...
but in stat that i feel not clean enough to see him..
is that dought...i feel right now..
so I'm going to leave you guy with this in mind..
it OK to dought your self..and sometime dought will guide you to the correct way..

_my_rambutan_guy_

huhuh..i'm so happy..
i just found my self a rambutan guy..
let my tell my story from the beginning...
it was a shy day..
i can feel it in my bone..a thing giling sound..
make a music by it self..
i was wishing today was a better day..
so guess what.. my wish come true..
it's not only my bone..i can even feel my car was happy..
she run like a smoothly today..make no cranking sound..
as if she know what is going to happen..
i enter the exam hall..as usually late..
i can say..i don't even feel anything like i use to(nervous)..
so when the clock hand start to run to the finish line..
one by one of my classmate was gone way..
some of them was studying in the class and some i don't..
as usual I mind my own business..
go out to print my last minis English outline speech.. 
to cut my story short..
i was going back to send my English outline..
but i was stop by a sound that make a wall in front of me..
is him call my name..then i turn slowly..look at my left..
there was my classmate..
3 of them was siting together..
if u saw my face that time..u can see me smile ear to ear..
i was so shy..but try to control my coolness..acting like what!!!
think back..i feel stupid..hahaha..why did i do that..ahhh
try so hard to control..i just don't what that conversation to stop..
then he offer me a rambutan..hahah..so sweet...not the rambut but the guy..
then i walk away smile like there is no tomorrow..
i was recall what just happen..
i feel like flying to the air..hahah..i guess the air just suck me that time..
the gravity of earth was dead that time...
the sound of his voice call my name keep on repeating my it self..
it's like a broken record...with a nice tone..hahha
ok then i stop writing before i been carried way..
the main point is..i admired the guy..my rambutan boy...

_juliet_with_no_romeo_

i wish..
i wish i was a Juliet..
like in the story..
she look so happy n pretty..
the only think she do is stand there in the balcony..
waiting for romeo to come by..
and present her with a beautiful poem..
then Romeo will Clim the tree next to the balcony just to kiss the Juliet..
how romantic is that..
it was classic romantic movie..
ever girl want to be Juliet..
make me wander..is there  out there a perfect romeo..
if i was the juliet..
i guess my romeo never show up..
state the obvious in never get my happy ending..

_my_up_date_

it feel like for forever i didn't up date this blog..
maybe because i didn't feel like writing..
or there is to much to write i don't even know how and where to start with..
i have gone through ups and down..
sad time, happy time and angry time..but mostly loss time..
i feel loss..don't know what to do..what to say and generally i feel loss of place..
i use to talk a lot..say a lot..and think a lot about ever thing but now.. i don't do much..
I'm fake..not that type of fake..i like to fake about my feeling..
i usually happy in naturally but now..i have to fake a lot..

friends..
i can't say much..maybe i just need a few of them..the one that give a the real support..
never leave me when i did something stupid about my life..
or when i hurt they feeling..
did i ever tell u guy that i have a superman..
but i guess he is to busy studying..
hmm..
maybe i should go to the wilderness find me a tree that can talk..
or run free with a wear wolf..it must cool to do that..
or just maybe be like a vampire that suck human blood..so evil..haha
or go to India..and travel the world just with a small amount of money..
or maybe.. i just have to go and see movie to release my stress brain..
HAHAH..
ok then i have to go..and find me a movie center..
if u sew a girl siting alone and buys a lot of ticket movies..ask her..is her name brenda..haha in kedah only..

_princess_missing_his_superman_

i have loss my superman..
i don't know why..
but i can feel something is wrong between us..
i keep telling my self to let it go..n not let it to be the center of my mind..
maybe he is to busy saving life..
helping the poor n the needy persons..
or maybe he fall sick..
because of the poison ivy that stung him..
or maybe he is to tired to look at me..
and wish that he never know me..
i hate my self for thing this way..
thing that is wounded will not heal that properly..
so if u ask me ..can i get back my superman?
i will answer..maybe..or if i got him back..it will never be the same..

_the_guitar_sound_

our life is like a guitar ..
when it is a new guitar it makes a wonderful..
no face making is shown..
and the skill of the player is been ignored..
what ever chord that is play..
fly to the air like wind..or oxygen for scientifically..
it's travel around the atmosphere until..
it enter to a person ear..

when hour become day..
and day become month..
the guitar is not as new as it was before..
the cover is discolor..
the wood make a deep-deep sound..
and the string is fragile as lady hand..
it's only waiting for time to replace it..

the master has arrive!!
and place has change..
one's a proud guitar has been place at second hand shop..
how sad is that.. no more cheering.. no more fantasizing..
it's take it place quietly amount a lot of other guitar..
realized that.. what a fool his life was way-way back..

people come and go..
not long after that one small boy..
wearing a small dirty shirt point straight at it..
the guitar can hear clearly that the boy says..
"what a nice guitar,i take it"
the day brighten up..
the seller says"but the guitar sound is horrible"
but with so much energy..
the small boy says"it OK..it a good tuning up..it be just like brand new"

our life is like a guitar..
at first we maybe the center of attention..
and we forget about our self..
the when day pass..
we loos our nice sound..
then it only take one person that is geneses to help tuned our string up..

_ealy_in_the_morning_

so today..i wake up really..
maybe because i didn't sleep the whole night..
i didn't sleep because i have sleep the whole day yesterday..
so back to my story..
i wake up really..
then i decided to "lepak" or just go out side and relax..
i saw a bounce of bird..
crazy thing in mind(are animal have a nicer life then are human?)
back to my story
they are eating rice that has been pour out to them..
there look very beautiful...but
one bird stand out from the other bird..a withe bird
i hope the bird have no problem as i am facing right now..try to fit in..
the bird is so white, i can even see it with out my glasses..
they a eat happily..when a stranger or car pass by they will fly to a near by place..
then one bird brave enough to come and eat the rice again..
sooner later one by one..the other bird will follow..
i was so amaze by the bird braveness..
so i wander is it the same for human like us..
when one people try to stand and the other follow..
i hope it is that simple..but not in my case..

do you ever see a eagle trying to protract a bounce of smaller bird..
even thought it is stand out very clear that it not even the same type of bird..
makes me wander..can a human do that..
protract they friend even though there are different..

every thing we do have a reason..
do u ever hear some say that..maybe it not to u but to some ales..
it's a matter of fact..weather they know your reason or they can't even thing of something..
or they will make some thing up in they own mind..
i really hope to some one that saw this will keep it in mind..
that maybe that some one have there own reason to do that..
and i hope the person who see this go and ask the person..
do u get the point..if u read though it again..
and u do the same thing then will be less people jugging other..

i hate to write about my love life but still i owe u guy some story about it..
i do not know why but i keep writing about bird..even though i like cat more..
what so ever..back to my story..
remember what i say i saw this morning..the bounce of bird..
the withe bird have a friend..the same type of bird..
it have a different color..
in my mind..there must be friend..
so i found my friend in this foundation that I'm taking..i hope so..
then we become  friend..but do u ever hear people say
that sooner or later u will like that person..
so i guess it happen to me..it not love but it only like..
and I'm sure about that..
so that's that..nothing to say..we are still friend..
and will continue to be one..i hope..
i will continue this story..if this story have a story to tell..:)

so..OK..then that the end..renung2kan n selamat amal..

i miss my so call litter brother

i hate to admit it but i feel lost..
this feeling of been throw by someone that you really care about..
maybe that someone do not need me anymore...
i know..it is his decided to make..
but I'm just hoping he take a long long time to think about it..
but ups!! my fault.he only need 3sec to think it through..
still i do think about him ever single time..more then before this thing happen..
i just hope he know what I'm feeling now..
a thresh is just been kick and burn into ash..
but that stupid little thresh still think about her owner..
the only thing stupid little thresh hope that her master is doing OK..
i sayang my kim bum..

_superman_A_

look to the right..
look to the left..
look at the sky..
here he comes..
there is the superman

he is not strong..
but he is brilliant..
he can't fly..
but he can make a basket ball fly..
he is not cute..
but he is charming..
he is not handsome..
but he has his own style ..

the only thing that makes him a superman is..
he is kind..
he does not judge people..
he is trustworthy..
the most of all..
here he comes to help..

_super A_in the younger age_

_bird_in_the_sky_

i feel free..now i can breath..with my own air..
i didn't mean that i can't breath with a bounce of fresh flower but..
maybe I'm just trying something new..
it's a gamble.. weather i fall or i fly..
some time it maybe raining and I'm trying to find a shelter some way..
hoping there is one for me..cover me form the heavy rain..
and dry me from the wetness of the rain drops..
when the day get dryer..i be on my way..flying free and happily..
maybe some day i sew a bird with a broken wings falling strength to the land..
and i will be stopping and helping the poor bird to find a shelter and food..
when the bird is well again..and I'll will be on my way..flying free and happily..
maybe some day i find a group of bird that wanted to fly with me..
and i will be giving them advise to fly following they own heart beat..
and I'll will be on my way again..flying free and happily...
or maybe some day you sew me fly come and say hey..
and i be the happy-es bird in the sky..

beyond every body's eyes

how can i put this...the day started with class..and ended with more class..how suck is that...
it not only me that feel the pain..all of my class member also feel the same..
emotion are play to day..
sadness come and visit me that day..and he decided to stay with me..
sadness try to make a fool out of me..i guess he partly win the day..
i try to fight sadness back by singing a song that call 'pocket full of sunshine'
i guess it help me a little bit..but still it stink deep in site..
i wish my facile expression can be cover..
oh ya i can use a mask..like a mask party that i never be invited..never mind me
but ups!!i bring the worry mask.. instade i bring the sad mask with me..
i have no chose..eider they are look at a sad face or a sad mask..
it still the same but a list the mask still look pretty then my face..
class by class pass me by..entering and out of it..
but still the same old mask stick like a glue..
and if you see clearly..sadness is following me...
every move and every step..he is just like a shadow on my back..
so the class end..
all of my class member come back with a big smile..
so i guess..happiness have a new best friend..

i'm so sorry

benda dh berlaku apa nak buat..huhu..
i'm so sorry knp kwn2 yg duduk dlm kereta dgn me hari ni..i'm so sorry brenda tk kan bw kereta klu ada u girl lagi k..jgn risau..
i'm so sorry...

BERTUKER!!!

pertukaran berlaku!!mcm cta power rangers
sy skrng cuba think out side the box..open dgn org baru..maybe i have to move on..i really miss my all friend ..walapun baru kenal dlm sebualn tp..hmm..they are the best..atey n awin..
tk nak sedih2..concentrate dgn study..huh..that what I'm playing right now..play it safe..
for your info i don't have any heart..so tak sgt mkn hati..hmm biasa lh perempuan..gossip n the group..i can't say anything any more..
pertukar ni berlaku n insipidity by hmm someone yg i think terlaku cool n happy gold luck..dia pernah ckp "kita tk blh please everyone"...i think itu betul gila3..so thnx for the advise..peace out..that all form me..

Drama n drama lagi part 2

hmm..rs nak tarik balik ke apa yg d ckp kt part 1 ..
sebenarnya dia 2 baik org nya, klu kita kenal dia betul..i think so~
dlm dunia ni tdk ada sesiap yg baik..cuma tuhan sj..heheh tunjuk alim lh ni..hahah..
pendek kan cta..lepas intdo itu kita org..start lah darma yg betul2..d mn kita org dgn murah hatinya menunjukan bakat terpendam..haha..
then selapas drama kita org karaok..huh best lh blh thn..tp asik2 org tua 2 je nya nak nyanyi..isteri dia pun dh ambil hati dh ,kesian kt isteri tersayang dia 2..huuh :(
lepas karaok balik lh kita org..the end..nothing to be tell..
kurangkan gossip tingkatkan persitasi..hahh..n selamat beramal..

Drama n drama lagi part 1

melampau drama tlah mengambil terlalu banyak masa sy..akirh nya dh habis..hehhe..suka2...penat pun dh tk ada dh puas hati..i start from mula2..we sampai kt situ terus mkn..sedap gila daging dia..then acara bermula dgn ucapan dari dr...n penolong kanan..habis2 je ucapan yg mengambil masa 30 minit 2 then kita org d minta introduce kan diri sendiri..nerves gila..satu persatu ckp..huhu..paling terakhir ada lh..klu org nampak pasti gelak nak mampus..hahaha..paling lucu ada taki..gila je budak 2..ada lh yg 1 budak 2 drama queen betul menyampa gila...rasa nak tampar je muka dia...ok tp be continue in the next part 

don't jugy me by my pass

u guy know what ,there is this boy, he is acutely so cute and he is not a boy he is a grown man because he is 18..he wanted me to be his sister..and mesti lh i say yes then we become closer and closer..like a really brother and sister..he all way been bullied by his friend,not the type like bit him but just playing around...
but 1 day he and his friend saw my picture in facebook that is not what they think of me..so there are very shock...and this little brother of mine ,tell me and he ask me did i ever sleep with any one...of course no, what a stupid think to do..he also tell me that his friend now know I'm a social type of girl, i admitted but now i have change.. I'm not the girl who there think I'm..the we become a parted by each other today..I'm so sad...
just now he message me and the me that he is sorry for asking about that..should i forgive him or should i ignore him.. and never every contact him again?

who am i...

i do not even know who am i...seriously ..how crazy is that..but i think i know what i want to be in my life..
I'm been telling my self that i didn't care about what people think about me..but the truly i do care..n i hate it when people judge me by my past .I'm maybe playful out side but in side..I'm loner type..
so if u really want to know me..you are welcome but be prepared for the worst