_the _devil_daughter_

if devil can rewind time...why we do not take it..
don't take this in the wrong way.. i believe in god with my hold heart..
and i do know that devil is real..
when i was small..i all way think that i already sold my soul to the devil
maybe it just me..but i can feel it..
i tell my friend..that I'm the devil daughter..they just laugh and telling me I'm so funny..
maybe i make a funny face that time but i can't remember..
hmm..maybe this is why I'm so scar of ghost or what so ever they call it..
but it can't be..because if I'm the devil daughter i shouldn't be scar of them..
i know that I'm going to hell ..
and i know that hell will be more helly then i thought it will be..
i deserve the hell but some part or wishing I'm end u i  heaven...
try to do good stuff with not working..i feel i'm to dirty to god...
i miss going to church so much..leasing to the prayer..
and putting some hope for the poor and sick..because they deserve it...
i know that god have endless love..and he will never leave us even though we ask him to...
just remember this..don't loses hope..and pray a lot..

_dought_is_wanderfull_

i didn't have enough rest last night..
maybe because i have to send a doctor home..
or maybe it's just me..
enough with the reason why i can't sleep last night..
let focus on how i feel today..making me write early in the morning..
I'm nervous today,it not that usual...usual when I'm nervous i talk to human..officious
BTW...to throw the nervousness way...i watch my favorite show..."HOUSE"
Demm..make me feel that it is cool to be a doctor like him...
so i become more nervous...dought come to me again...
i guess he have a plan for me..
he keep on tell me to not give up on my self..
but it's no use...seriously...what happen to me...
the morning sky look turn orange blue-wish today..i wander why..
and why is the stupid dragon fly..fly near the water surface..
they know that..if that do that..the fish will eat them..
but why do they still doing it..
can some body give me a good reason???
why is human keep on doing stupid stuff??
even though they know that it's stupid mainly..
why do u..as a reader read this???and still have no dought about your self
there are a lot of why but no answer..
the air today test sweet..can u feel that??...
it's feel my brain with that sweet stuff..making me feel high..
high in the way that..wanted to give thank to god...
but in stat that i feel not clean enough to see him..
is that dought...i feel right now..
so I'm going to leave you guy with this in mind..
it OK to dought your self..and sometime dought will guide you to the correct way..

_my_rambutan_guy_

huhuh..i'm so happy..
i just found my self a rambutan guy..
let my tell my story from the beginning...
it was a shy day..
i can feel it in my bone..a thing giling sound..
make a music by it self..
i was wishing today was a better day..
so guess what.. my wish come true..
it's not only my bone..i can even feel my car was happy..
she run like a smoothly today..make no cranking sound..
as if she know what is going to happen..
i enter the exam hall..as usually late..
i can say..i don't even feel anything like i use to(nervous)..
so when the clock hand start to run to the finish line..
one by one of my classmate was gone way..
some of them was studying in the class and some i don't..
as usual I mind my own business..
go out to print my last minis English outline speech.. 
to cut my story short..
i was going back to send my English outline..
but i was stop by a sound that make a wall in front of me..
is him call my name..then i turn slowly..look at my left..
there was my classmate..
3 of them was siting together..
if u saw my face that time..u can see me smile ear to ear..
i was so shy..but try to control my coolness..acting like what!!!
think back..i feel stupid..hahaha..why did i do that..ahhh
try so hard to control..i just don't what that conversation to stop..
then he offer me a rambutan..hahah..so sweet...not the rambut but the guy..
then i walk away smile like there is no tomorrow..
i was recall what just happen..
i feel like flying to the air..hahah..i guess the air just suck me that time..
the gravity of earth was dead that time...
the sound of his voice call my name keep on repeating my it self..
it's like a broken record...with a nice tone..hahha
ok then i stop writing before i been carried way..
the main point is..i admired the guy..my rambutan boy...

_juliet_with_no_romeo_

i wish..
i wish i was a Juliet..
like in the story..
she look so happy n pretty..
the only think she do is stand there in the balcony..
waiting for romeo to come by..
and present her with a beautiful poem..
then Romeo will Clim the tree next to the balcony just to kiss the Juliet..
how romantic is that..
it was classic romantic movie..
ever girl want to be Juliet..
make me wander..is there  out there a perfect romeo..
if i was the juliet..
i guess my romeo never show up..
state the obvious in never get my happy ending..

_my_up_date_

it feel like for forever i didn't up date this blog..
maybe because i didn't feel like writing..
or there is to much to write i don't even know how and where to start with..
i have gone through ups and down..
sad time, happy time and angry time..but mostly loss time..
i feel loss..don't know what to do..what to say and generally i feel loss of place..
i use to talk a lot..say a lot..and think a lot about ever thing but now.. i don't do much..
I'm fake..not that type of fake..i like to fake about my feeling..
i usually happy in naturally but now..i have to fake a lot..

friends..
i can't say much..maybe i just need a few of them..the one that give a the real support..
never leave me when i did something stupid about my life..
or when i hurt they feeling..
did i ever tell u guy that i have a superman..
but i guess he is to busy studying..
hmm..
maybe i should go to the wilderness find me a tree that can talk..
or run free with a wear wolf..it must cool to do that..
or just maybe be like a vampire that suck human blood..so evil..haha
or go to India..and travel the world just with a small amount of money..
or maybe.. i just have to go and see movie to release my stress brain..
HAHAH..
ok then i have to go..and find me a movie center..
if u sew a girl siting alone and buys a lot of ticket movies..ask her..is her name brenda..haha in kedah only..